Newsletter #9: Crying Over Friendships
Quite literally cried while writing this
Cover photo here.
As an only child, you rely on your friendships to fill those spots that siblings usually would. From teaching each other how to do hair to navigating break-ups, to celebrating birthdays, friends become pseudo-siblings in a way.
As you get older, friendships become more complicated for many reasons, but I really believe location matters. In college and high school, friendships are formed on convenience and similarities. From class schedules to roommates. As you get older, friendships are more so about filling in needs. You need someone to vent to. You need someone to keep you company. You need someone who understands your career, your family, your hopes and aspirations. Forming friendships on needs and wants seems a bit weird or rude, but think differently about needs and wants in this realm of your life. For example, you want a simple, easy life so you need to surround yourself with simple, easy people. Low-maintenance friends who don’t need constant attention to maintain a healthy relationship.
For me, friendships have been beautiful and complicated, but regardless, they are the foundation of who I am. My friends know more about me than my family. They have celebrated me more than anyone. Every special moment in my life has been made even richer by the friendships that were woven into the mix. Friendships have brought me a lot of hurt. I’ve lost friendships and repaired some. I am the bad guy in some people’s stories, but I am also the good guy.
I am very lucky to have friends who have known me practically our lives and have navigated the tricky waters of middle-school insecurities, heartbreak and moving 6 hours away from home. I am very lucky to have people in my life who have seen me for my truest self and love me anyways.
When I think of my friends, I see how platonic love is one of my life’s biggest gifts. It is built on mutual interest, wanting to see each other succeed, filling in the driver’s seat on the last leg of the road trip, doing nothing but having the best time, saying “I saw this and thought of you”, picking up the phone at 3 a.m. to fix a crisis, laughing when the wine spills, and always, always being able to listen to each other when they need it most.
“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
Happy Tears
Mini charcuterie boards for lunch. That’s all.
Crying in the Sales Section
Sol de Janeiro’s Brazilian Crush Cheirosa spray in Pistachio & Salted Caramel. It has a rich person bakery smell.
Final Thoughts
Spending too much time focused on what you don’t have will always leave you unhappy and looking bitter.
Read a Banned Book. The People’s History of the United States made me a better person.