Newsletter #13: Crying Over Being Laid Off, Pamela Anderson, and This Newsletter

Guess what? I'm back and promising to be more consistent, just like your ex!

I decided to officially bring this newsletter back. 2024 was supposed to be the year of Crying From the Sidelines, but then my parents both passed away in February 2024 and my life—needless to say because they were the center of universe—completed dissolved and I didn’t want to do anything. Having both of your parents pass away teaches you a lot of things. One is that the family members who pissed your parents off will piss you off too, and the other thing is that the best help you receive is the kind you don’t necessarily ask for. I’m not going to sit here and spill the beans on grief completely, you can read Newsletter #12 for that.

Since I’ve posted here last, I’ve written a lot in my iPhone notes and a journal a friend gave me a while ago. I wasn’t reading as much as I would have liked to and failed a few times at “book clubs” with friends. Everyone is busy.

Then, this March, I got laid off from my full-time job. In hindsight, I saw it coming from 10 miles away because the media landscape is so…weird right now. In real life, I kept telling myself, “You’ll never get laid off!” My shield of delusion did not protect me from getting laid off, nor did it protect so many others across multiple industries. Sometimes, you get laid off and have to have to find a new job. Is it fun? Not really! Life is still going on so you have to as well.

The upside to getting laid off is that you now have 40 hours of your time to fill! For me, that’s torture. While I’ve been working on separating my life’s purpose from work, I wasn’t completely at peace with that mindset when I got laid off, so I backtracked about 1000 steps. More on that in a later newsletter. What I’m getting at is that I have more time to write and more time to read so that I can be a better writer. I bought a book about how to write children’s books, I re-did my resume, and finally found a library copy of Martha Stewart’s Entertaining. One of those things has absolutely nothing to do with the others.

What’s going to change here:

• The format of the weekly newsletters— I’m going to have different topics each week, but no dedicated sections. Also, colors may change. We shall see.

• The pricing for monthly and annual subscribers changed a little bit — I wanted things to be accessible.

• More pop culture and internet stuff — I am online. I want to share my input on things happening on the internet!

• Pity Party Newsletters — my monthly subscribers will now be called the Pity Party Committee. You’ll have a say in topics, I’m taking questions from you and posing them to the group, and you’ll get bonus goodies.

Anyways, back to it.

Pamela Anderson said, “I put myself in crazy situations and survived them.”

I saw this tweet from X (gag at that name, ugh) user

VitallyMelanie

(who has her own Substack!) with a screen grab from Pamela’s Netflix doc Pamela, a Love Story, where she says, “I’m not a victim. I put myself in crazy situations and survived them.”

I’m not saying this is how everyone should view their hardships because everyone’s hardships— “chosen” or not —alter how they see and view the world, and how they interact with others. Pamela endured a lot of trauma and abuse at the hands of babysitters and rock stars. She even details how she tried to protect her brother Gerry from a babysitter with a candy cane pen. I’m sure she went through many emotions and had different self-titles before she got to her current destination.

I resonate with Pamela because even though I didn’t choose for my parents to die or to get laid off, they were simply things I had to deal with. I’ve been labeled strong and resilient as if it’s a badge of honor when being strong and resilient was always the only choice I ever had. Though I’ve had fewer “chosen” hardships than given ones, I’ve tried to take them head-on. I’ve felt my mindset get shifted with every hardship in multiple ways. I’ve become smarter. I’ve become more strategic. I’ve been more selective with my trust.

So when X user Melanie shared this screengrab with her thoughts, “Resiliency is the ultimate health biomarker btw :)”. I realized why Pamela’s words stuck with me. Of course, I was going to make it through hard times because I had structured my life to do so. I built an incredible network of friends and family ready to listen or offer advice, I had hobbies to lean on, and I built a life that needed me, specifically, for it to keep moving on. Resiliency is rare. I’ve had to remind myself that not everyone has dealt with hard things, which is why Mel Robbins seems basic to me and why it is gospel to others. Hard times aren’t a badge of honor, but they help you morph your sense of gratitude into some weird Frankenstein-like creature that helps you think, “Well, it could be worse!” when anything bad happens to you.

Final Thoughts

• The world is a very scary place. Do things that make you actually happy. Not things that you think should make you happy.

• Subscribe to this newsletter and tell a friend.

• I’m enabling comments on this post only.

• And as

  Casey Lewis
  says, “All typos are intentional to make sure you’re paying attention.”