Newsletter #12: Crying Over Truman Show Vibes & Controlling the Narrative
Living or watching a show?
The other day, I was talking to an old friend and we both agreed that our lives feel like The Truman Show. A huge part of my life seems like I am not the writer of the script. There’s some pre-determined plotline that I am fulfilling. People are more like characters, acting to deepen their storyline and the more I try to get on track, the more it spins away from me. I should learn to surrender to this notion. However, I do too much to control the narrative. I am trying to make myself and others fit into this story I have written out for my life.
I am neither the writer of my life nor a star of the show. It’s all a combination of the state of the world, anxiety, and just not having the tools I need. I know I exist, and I know I have some amount of control over my life, but I don’t have control over everything.
Leadership, being the person to make decisions, knowing the end of the movie before I start, reading the menu before going to dinner, asking what my friends are wearing before we go out and hating surprises have all given me a false sense of control. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, none of these aspects add anything to my life. They are temporary peace of mind and one part of the plot I can be sure of.
I would love to relax, I would love to care less, and I would love to give up the authorship of my life. How does one care about life without caring too much? How much control is normal and what is overdoing it?
Happy Tears
Crying in the Sales Section
Donate to the Urban League of Pittsburgh and help them combat hunger.
Final Thoughts
No one is mad at you.
Editor note: Are you mad at me?
Considering spending NYE by yourself